Lmao
know your gays
aries: the controlling charming gay
taurus: the quiet sensual gay
gemini: the busy flirty gay
cancer: the caring emotional gay
leo: the dramatic creative gay
virgo: the critical smart gay
libra: the romantic indecisive gay
scorpio: the needy passionate gay
sagittarius: the funny wanderlust gay
capricorn: the ambitieus responsible gay
aquarius: the unique friendly gay
pisces: the dreamy complicated gay
now accepting anon hate
but only in the form of haikus
the signs as Bob’s Burgers quotes
Aries: My life is more difficult than anyone else on the planet. And yes, I’m including starving children, so don’t ask.
Taurus: If you need me, I’ll be on the floor. Dying.
Gemini: Summer is awful. There’s too much pressure to enjoy yourself.
Cancer: Mommy doesn’t get drunk. She just has fun.
Leo: I got a tool to remove security tags! Next Christmas is on me!
Virgo: Ooh, mini croissants! No matter what I say, stop me when I’ve had sixteen.
Libra: Was it obvious I don’t care?
Scorpio: I’m no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time like everyone else.
Sagittarius: What is this feeling I’m feeling right now? It’s like I’m sad for another person? Is that a thing? AM I GOING CRAZY?
Capricorn: Okay, fine. But I’m gonna complain the whole time.
Aquarius: Hey, daytime whiskey, wanna meet my CD collection?
Pisces: I don’t need a boy to pay attention to me. I’ll pay attention to myself.
Me: *flirting with cashier at Old Navy*
Me: when I leave, don’t be surprised if the alarm goes off, because I just stole your heart.
Me: *leaves, alarm goes off*
Me: *with a sly smile* see? told ya.
Cashier: i need to check your bag. come back here.
Me: no.
atruegentlemanthief 